Reality is Setting In!!

I have not had a lot of energy lately, it has started to bother me - particularily since I have been convinced my energy levels would be rising rapidly after my last radiation treatment, which was two months ago. I have been trying riding my bike, started out right after radiation ended - did pretty well - even made it all the way up the hill from Zellers without getting off. But since then it seems my endurance and just general energy level has continued to decline.

The problem with my feet and knees (peripheral Nuropathy and Pseudo Gout) has just slowly gotten worse, which I have tried to ignore - will little success. My walking gate (due to the numb feet) is looking much like a old man shuffling along with a cane or walker. Now I am getting a little older, but I am NOT an old man!

I have been thinking of going Ice Skating since the motion is totally different from walking - plus I have been skating and playing hockey all my life. So it seemed logical to get out of the house - get some fresh air - and do something I was really good at.

Looked up the local rinks and found the North Surrey rink had public skating today from 11:30 AM till 1:00PM - decided to go. Got my skates and blue touqe and started off for a fun little skate at the rink I had played hundreds of games in the past.

I arrived about 12:15 - lots of time left - I figured a half hour or so would be enough for my first time out in about four years.
The first thing I noticed was there were virtually no Adults skating - a few out with their small children, most with the little metal things the small ones use to get started. I realized I had probably read the time wrong and this was tots and moms time.

Anyway it was general skating so I paid and sat down to put my skates on. Just as I sat down this cute little guy (about 18 months old) came over and lay down on his tummy on the bench beside me to watch me put on my skates.
"Do you ski?" He said to me, or something similar (he was Chinese)
"Yes I ski - do you?" I said.
"Do you ski?"
"Yes do you?"
"Do you ski?"
You get the idea - this went on for the entire skate putting on time.

Speaking of skate putting on time - it was not going too well at all. After getting the shots that turned me into a bit of a female my tummy seemed to grow about three inches - just enough it seemed to make reaching over to lace up my skates next to impossible - not quite impossible but close. By the time I had put one skate on I was all tuckered out.
My little friend was not.

By the time had both skates on I was breathing pretty hard.

As I walked to the ice entrance I noticed my skates did not feel right - not sure what was wrong but it did make me a little cautious when I got to the gate. Normally I would just jump out onto the ice and away I would go.
I held on to the gate and put one skate onto the Ice, so far so good, but as soon as I got the other foot on the ice I started to fall - I couldnt believe what was happening - skating had always been as natural to me as walking (of course walking isnt so natural anymore) and I just couldnt comprehend what was wrong. I do believe there was a bit of rust on the bottom of my skates, as the gliding slowly got better. I would try to go forward (holding onto the boards) but the skates would grab and let go and grab again - each time making me almost fall.
After about two minutes of this I decided to pack it in. When I got to the gate there were a few little people blocking it - I was afraid I might fall and injure one of them so I went back along the boards and tried to see if I could improve - I think the rust was wearing off a bit because I did a little better.
About this time a little girl (about five or six years old) came over to offer me her little red mittened hand. I almost cried. She was so concerned and sweet.

In any event I did stay another twenty minutes or so, and I did improve a little - still could hardly turn or stop, but I did get away from the boards.

For a guy that just a few years ago was a hard skating-hard hitting-stop on a dime kind of player, this was more than unexpected/shocking/embarasing, it was mind numbing.

As I toiled getting my skates off, this little voice in the deep recesses of my mind was saying - this is the end of life as you have known it - the beginning of a completely diferent life - how are you going to handle it?

We will see.

love to all


  1. Was that today dad? I was thinking you must of had your skates on the wrong feet from the troubles you where haveing. Will you go back? Did mom talk you into a doctor visit or is the intervention still on?
    Love Sandra

  2. yes it was after you left tis morning.

    Skates on proper feet


  3. A very touching story Dad. I suppose, at all ages, we long to find the insight to understand who and what we are, and who and what we have been. I think you have done as good a job at answering all that as it is possible to do. And that's no small thing.



  4. Larry, you are awesome.



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